Three keys to move from “recovery” to “recovered”
Staying BUSY in recovery can often lead to staying STUCK in eating disorder recovery and not moving to recovered.
After I finally accepted I had an eating disorder, I started to look for help. This can be a daunting task in and of itself, but I finally found some people and scheduled appointments.
I thought to myself, “Hey, I’m recovering.” This is what people with eating disorders do.
I’ll do therapy. Check.
Perhaps I’ll try a dietician. Check.
Hmmm, how about group therapy. Check.
Psychiatrist appointment. Sure, okay. Check.
Maybe I need more. Okay, must do residential. Check.
Wait! It’s not working. I need alternative therapies. Meditation. Yoga. Check.
I kept handing my fate and recovery over to others hoping they would move the needle for me. Hoping they’d get me unstuck. But the more appointments I made, the more dependent I was on therapy and the more permanent RECOVERY (vs recovered) became.
I was guessing my way through recovery. And it felt like those around me were too. At no point in seven years, did my team collaborate to come up with a multi-faceted game plan for me. No one asked for my input in creating a roadmap either.
3 Keys to Moving to “Recovered”
To get out of the “in recovery” hell, understand where you are with each key below.
1) If you’re getting comfortable with your treatment, it’s not working.
I’d go to appointment after appointment, seeking something magical. And the only magic that came was a false sense of security. I felt comfortable. This is what I am supposed to be doing, I’d tell myself.
Occasionally, I’d feel good leaving an appointment, like I’d uncovered some major truth about the eating disorder… only to be totally immersed in behaviors hours later.
To fully recover from an eating disorder, you will need to be pushed. Like you never been pushed. You will feel uncomfortable and question the hell out of recovery. You will question every moment.
2) Freedom isn’t something you stumble upon. It requires a real recovery action plan.
If you are in therapy, working with a coach, dietician or any other professional, DEMAND a plan. What are you working towards; how will you get there?
Together, CREATE a plan. A map to get to where you want to go. Without one, freedom is just an idea.
3) The only way to shape your destiny is to be involved in the plan.
You must have input in your recovery plan. USE YOUR VOICE. When you do, you are invested and the probability of freedom is HIGH. When you are just following orders or shooting in the dark, recovery is a needle in a hay stack.
Get involved. Get immersed in recovery. I’m NOT suggesting you ditch appointments, but I am suggesting you take a hard look at what those appointments are doing for you. Are you going because you’re making progress? Or are you going because that’s what you think recovery looks like?
Do the work
Work like hell in between appointments. Don’t rely on an hour long appointment each week. DEMAND homework. Demand steps or action items before your next appointment. Start to use your voice and advocate for yourself. Stay uncomfortable. This is the path to recovered.