Are you comfortable in your skin?
First up, I have to acknowledge thin privilege. I do not speak for everyone or everyBODY.
Next up, Instagram is full of women posting images of their stretch marks, rolls, and cellulite. I can’t relate.
Before you murder me, hold on a sec. I can totally relate to all the imperfections. I can’t relate to their captions.
Most of the posts say: “I love seeing my stretch marks. They’re a reminder that my body gave birth to a precious baby girl.” Or something like “OMG I love my tiger stripes and bumps. It represents how fierce I am.”
You know what? YOU DO YOU. I’m all about you loving yourself and feeling it.
But I wanna tell you a little secret: I did not love my postpartum body. I was neutral about it. And that’s okay.
When I started gaining weight in eating disorder recovery, I was not jumping up and down at the added layers. However, I was happy to have my life back.
But did you know that most of us, 97%, have at least one negative thought about our body everyday? Yikes! That’s one too many.
To learn how to be comfortable in your skin and body (i.e. not love it and not hate it), read these 5 tips:
5 Ways On How To Be Comfortable In Your Body
1. Wear clothes you hardly notice. Wear clothes that are comfortable
If you are constantly yanking your pants over your belly button, you’re focused on your body. And you won’t be comfortable in your body.
When you continually readjust your shirt or pull it down, you’re sending a subtle message to your mind. This doesn’t fit. It doesn’t feel good. I’m too fat.
On the other hand, when you wear comfortable fitting clothes, you aren’t focused on your body. You’re focused on what it can do and on living your life. As a result, you’ll find that you feel more comfortable in your skin.
To find your comfortable clothes, I recommend going through your closet. I know. It’s filled with all kinds of things. But, just find five outfits that feel good on your body. Five. Once you find them, put them at the front of your closet where you see them. Rotate these each day.
2. Make a list everyday of what your body can do
Okay, you might be rolling your eyes on this one. But don’t knock it until you try it.
Do this after you get dressed in the morning. In fact, I ask clients to keep a notebook next to their mirror. After they get dressed, they write down five things they appreciate about their body.
Here’s a list from a recent client who, after several months, found she was comfortable in her body
– it allows me to walk
– I can cook with both hands
– I can stomp in puddles outside today if I choose
– my body lets me hug my partner
– it can dance – not with a lot of rhythm, but it does move
3. Get a glass pen and write a positive affirmation on your mirror
When you look at yourself, I want you to connect something positive with the reflection you see! You’re re-learning how to be comfortable in your body. That means sending your mind a NEW and positive message.
If you need a list of positive affirmations, go grab this freebie now: 20 printable mantras for eating disorder recovery.
I’ve always loved: “I am confident and I live boldly.”
4. Accept that your body is temporary
Your body is a vessel that carries really important cargo – YOU. Becoming unattached to your body gives you a sense of peace when your body inevitably changes.
Remember your body won’t look the same when it’s five, 15 or 55 years old. It’s not supposed to.
Remember as your body changes, you are focused on appreciating it.
You allow yourself to buy clothes that fit your changing body and donate clothes that don’t. When you give yourself permission to purchase and donate, you’ll notice you’re becoming more accepting and comfortable in your body.
Accepting that our bodies are temporary also helps reduce comparison to others.
5. Throw away your scale to be comfortable in your skin
I know. I get it. This is hard. Especially if you’re “in it”. But there is a freedom that comes when you no longer have a scale in your house.
“But Lindsay, can I just put my scale in another room?” Nope. You can’t. It’s gotta go out to the dumpster. Bonus points if you take a hammer to it first.
Seriously, nothing good comes from stepping on the scale. Either you’re not doing well enough in recovery or you’re not doing well enough in your eating disorder.
Ultimately, the message the scales sends is you are not good enough. We wanna avoid that, am I right?
A scale weighs your body. That’s it.
It doesn’t weigh how awesome you are. How kind you were today. It doesn’t weigh your feelings or your joy. But those are the things that matter.
When you shift your focus away from the body, you neutralize it. You don’t LOVE or LOATHE it and that is a good place to be. Eventually it leads to you feeling comfortable in your skin.