Feeling alone or need eating disorder support?

For the past couple months, I’ve been leading a virtual eating disorder support group. Whether you’ve attended the group or not, I thought maybe you’re feeling the same way and could benefit from more free eating disorder resources.

Four things I’ve noticed.

First, people are feeling very alone.

One person after another shares how isolating this time is. No one else truly gets it.

The isolating nature of COVID-19 can fuel the eating disorder. No one really knows what you’re up to – if you’re eating or not. How much you’re exercising or not.

It’s hard to know when to reach out. One on hand it feels like you should be tough like everyone else. We’re all in the same boat, right? On the other hand, you have this added element of food scarcity and secrecy around the eating disorder. When do you ask for help. When do you ask for eating disorder support?

Also, it’s tough to know WHO to reach out to during this time. Sometimes those around you – whether family or friends – say the wrong things. They might not intend to, but inevitably they say something triggering.

If that’s the case, please consider sending them this DOs and DONTs for loved ones. The title is a bit of a misnomer – but it’s basically a ‘what to say‘ and a ‘what not to say‘. I’ve found that parents and loved ones are often more receptive when the info comes from a third party.

Also, when you’re looking for support, sometimes it helps to preface conversations with: I want you to listen and love me, not give me advice.

Second, beautiful connections have been made.

There is so much “free” being offered. Free eating disorder support groups. Free yoga classes, other eating disorder resources, etc. It warms my heart.

I host our virtual support group over Zoom. It’s not easy showing up for the first time, with video ON and being vulnerable about what’s hard in this environment.

It’s not easy showing up for the first time, with video ON and being vulnerable about what’s hard in this environment.

If you haven’t seen the info yet on my donation-based virtual eating disorder support group, it’s here. Please don’t let the fact that it’s donation-based keep you from coming! Some give $1, $5, $15 & some don’t give. ALL are okay with me! To get group updates, you must add your name/email at the bottom of this page.

Also, once you’ve come to this support group at least once, you are also welcome to be part of our WhatsApp messaging group.

The purpose of the WhatsApp group is to share any wins, ask for support, share challenges, get advice or simply connect so you’re not alone. It’s basically the in-between for our weekly groups.

Third, this is a good time for books.

This has come up a few times recently on client calls and in our support group. There are LOTS of books when it comes to recovery. For me, I actually found non-recovery books to be more helpful for eating disorder support.

Some of my favs: Love Warrior and Untamed (Glennon Doyle), anything by Brene Brown (but specifically Gifts Of Imperfection, Braving the Wilderness and Power of Vulnerability), You Are A Badass, Radical Acceptance, Untethered Soul.

I’d love to hear your top books or eating disorder resources too!

Fourth, many are UPPING their recovery efforts right now.

If you have additional time from COVID 19, you might consider a more immersive approach.

If you do well on your own and are motivated but lack an action plan, you might consider the digital coaching program.

I created – Break the Behaviors over the course of a year by interviewing and studying hundreds of people who found eating disorder freedom. This digital coaching program is affordable and you do it from home over the course of six months.

Typically, I only offer it once every six months, but due to the circumstances, I’m releasing it again very soon. If this interests you, please add yourself here so you get the updates.

If you can afford to make a larger financial investment and want someone to literally hold your hand and guide you through recovery every step of the way, you might consider my one on one coaching program.

The only outcome we are focused on in this program is total freedom. That’s it. We move FAST and you have keeping you accountable 24/7. It is completely customized to YOU and we create a plan that will work for you. If this interests you, book a (free) call with me here.

Finally, I want you to know it’s okay if you want to do MORE right now or if you can hardly do the bare minimum.

It’s okay to be productive and it’s okay to do absolutely nothing. Give yourself a break either way. There’s no roadmap for this – and the only ‘right’ is what works for you. However, there is eating disorder support available to you. I’m happy to help you find the eating disorder resources you need.

I’m doing my best to meet you where you are. Please, if you’re needing something I don’t have, let me know and I can point you in the right direction.

Also, I’d love to say hello on Instagram if we haven’t already. Come say hi and let’s be ‘friends’ so we can stay connected as much as possible.

Are you comfortable in your skin?

First up, I have to acknowledge thin privilege. I do not speak for everyone or everyBODY.

Next up, Instagram is full of women posting images of their stretch marks, rolls, and cellulite. I can’t relate.

Before you murder me, hold on a sec. I can totally relate to all the imperfections. I can’t relate to their captions.

Most of the posts say: “I love seeing my stretch marks. They’re a reminder that my body gave birth to a precious baby girl.” Or something like “OMG I love my tiger stripes and bumps. It represents how fierce I am.”

You know what? YOU DO YOU. I’m all about you loving yourself and feeling it.

But I wanna tell you a little secret: I did not love my postpartum body. I was neutral about it. And that’s okay.

When I started gaining weight in eating disorder recovery, I was not jumping up and down at the added layers. However, I was happy to have my life back.

But did you know that most of us, 97%, have at least one negative thought about our body everyday? Yikes! That’s one too many.

To learn how to be comfortable in your skin and body (i.e. not love it and not hate it), read these 5 tips:

5 Ways On How To Be Comfortable In Your Body

1. Wear clothes you hardly notice. Wear clothes that are comfortable

If you are constantly yanking your pants over your belly button, you’re focused on your body. And you won’t be comfortable in your body.

When you continually readjust your shirt or pull it down, you’re sending a subtle message to your mind. This doesn’t fit. It doesn’t feel good. I’m too fat.

On the other hand, when you wear comfortable fitting clothes, you aren’t focused on your body. You’re focused on what it can do and on living your life. As a result, you’ll find that you feel more comfortable in your skin.

To find your comfortable clothes, I recommend going through your closet. I know. It’s filled with all kinds of things. But, just find five outfits that feel good on your body. Five. Once you find them, put them at the front of your closet where you see them. Rotate these each day.

2. Make a list everyday of what your body can do

Okay, you might be rolling your eyes on this one. But don’t knock it until you try it.

Do this after you get dressed in the morning. In fact, I ask clients to keep a notebook next to their mirror. After they get dressed, they write down five things they appreciate about their body.

Here’s a list from a recent client who, after several months, found she was comfortable in her body

– it allows me to walk

– I can cook with both hands

– I can stomp in puddles outside today if I choose

– my body lets me hug my partner

– it can dance – not with a lot of rhythm, but it does move

3. Get a glass pen and write a positive affirmation on your mirror

When you look at yourself, I want you to connect something positive with the reflection you see! You’re re-learning how to be comfortable in your body. That means sending your mind a NEW and positive message.

If you need a list of positive affirmations, go grab this freebie now: 20 printable mantras for eating disorder recovery.

I’ve always loved: “I am confident and I live boldly.”

4. Accept that your body is temporary

Your body is a vessel that carries really important cargo – YOU. Becoming unattached to your body gives you a sense of peace when your body inevitably changes.

Remember your body won’t look the same when it’s five, 15 or 55 years old. It’s not supposed to.

Remember as your body changes, you are focused on appreciating it.

You allow yourself to buy clothes that fit your changing body and donate clothes that don’t. When you give yourself permission to purchase and donate, you’ll notice you’re becoming more accepting and comfortable in your body.

Accepting that our bodies are temporary also helps reduce comparison to others.

5. Throw away your scale to be comfortable in your skin

I know. I get it. This is hard. Especially if you’re “in it”. But there is a freedom that comes when you no longer have a scale in your house.

“But Lindsay, can I just put my scale in another room?” Nope. You can’t. It’s gotta go out to the dumpster. Bonus points if you take a hammer to it first.

Seriously, nothing good comes from stepping on the scale. Either you’re not doing well enough in recovery or you’re not doing well enough in your eating disorder.

Ultimately, the message the scales sends is you are not good enough. We wanna avoid that, am I right?

A scale weighs your body. That’s it.

It doesn’t weigh how awesome you are. How kind you were today. It doesn’t weigh your feelings or your joy. But those are the things that matter.

When you shift your focus away from the body, you neutralize it. You don’t LOVE or LOATHE it and that is a good place to be. Eventually it leads to you feeling comfortable in your skin.

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COVID19 – Free Eating Disorder Support & Resources